Single Moms – I See You

During this time of the year, as we turn toward gratitude, I want to offer my thanks to all the solo moms out there.

You are a MF-ing spiritual warrior. 

I see you reading all the books about divorce, books about helping your children through divorce, books about how to heal after divorce. 

I see you planning and preparing for holidays, making each one special in its own way. 

I see you keeping your energy tame around your ex in front of the children. 

I see you diligently crafting those emails, staying in your power, not inciting your ex even when he blatantly disrespects you. 

I see you waking up earlier than your kids to enjoy your five minutes of coffee and peace. 

I see you meal prepping, grocery shopping, doing the dishes and laundry, all to provide a loving home. 

I see you turning off cable to free up some funds for your kids soccer uniform. 

I see you googling ways to start a side hustle so you can still be at home with your children as much as possible. 

I see you supporting other mamas through online groups, offering playdates, sending care packages. 

I see you feeling your anger, disregarding their attacks on your feelings, and channeling it into setting clearer boundaries. 

I see you struggling at bath time, exhausted from work, the work of mothering, the weight of the world, and that mom guilt that says you aren’t doing enough. 

I see you feeling powerless in a society that does not value “women’s work” or the work of caretaking of others. 

I see you sculpting the best story that highlights how much your ex loves your children when he doesn’t show up for his parenting time. 

I see you mentally toil in the higher ideals of fairness and justice and how you strive to implement those ideals in your life. 

I see you surrendering to the belief that at least they are good to my children when your ex brings home a new person. 

I see you trying to find time to nurture your self, to find what feels nourishing to yourself, to seek out things that make you feel you again. 

I see you fight back the tears when sadness suddenly hits you because your child says, “I miss daddy.”

I see you scrambling trying to find quality child care just so you can take a well-deserved break from mothering. 

I see you breaking out of the myth of the “perfect mother” and standing tall in your ability to be real. 

I see you praying that your children are safe with they are without you. 

I see you grappling with your ex’s accountability, yet it breaks your heart to not be the primary parent in some ways. 

I see you straining to find the words to tell the world about your experiences, about the paradoxes of being a single mother, about your struggles to be a mom and hold your own unique identity. 

I see you so very close to embodying your personal power, knowing that seeking out your worth is messy and unnerving, yet you keep coming back to it. 

I see you and your work. 

I see you and your energy. 

I see you and your heart. 

May you see it and unburden yourself from all the heaviness of doing it all alone. 

May you come to know your own dignity, self-awareness, your willingness to grow, trusting the value you bring to the world. 

May you revel in all that you do, holding your hand to your heart, saying a little prayer of gratitude toward yourself. 

May we all see you. 

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