I cringe every time I overhear the words "Be careful!" at the park or grocery store. It seems we parents love this phrase. It makes us feel like we are doing our job - helping and protecting our kids. But there's another phrase I used to say all the time in my English class that … Continue reading Be Specific
Today Lars and I rode bikes, we played superheroes at the park, we ate Chick-fil-A and emptied out his backpack on the carpet by the front door. He jumped on the mini-trampoline and counted to nine: “1,2,3,4,5,8,7,9.” We played “Jet Larsen.” I checked his wings for damage and fed him “jet fuel.” In the moments … Continue reading The Superhero Power of Presence
I have taught my son a new lesson. It was perfect - it only took me three years. I’ve taught him to undermine his own feelings and seek perfection. I've taught him to miss the good and go straight to evaluation mode. One day I asked him if he would like to explain what happened … Continue reading Praising Lars
The doctor was a short, round Asian man, who never spoke directly to me, only to my mother. He would incessantly clear his throat. His eyes looked everywhere but my face. He began with taking my temperature, then asking me to breathe in and out while he listened to my heart. I was ten. My … Continue reading The Parent of Two
Source: "Are You Okay?" Vs "You're Okay!"
But in asking him what his body is feeling, the emphasis is on assessing and responding appropriately to his own feelings instead of being informed of his feelings or looking to me and my reaction to figure out if he should be hurt.
As we wrestle Lars to get in bed, just to lie still as we read books - something startles me. My mother's voice jolts into my head: "When you become a mother, you will never know a love like the one you have for your children. But you will also have a fear like you … Continue reading The Lions at Night
Maybe it is also my approach. I can either be fearful - adding to the allure and power of guns - or I can understand the respect lesson - I can address their dangerousness, how guns in real life and guns in play are different, and offer these things in developmentally appropriate pieces to my son.
This just goes to show we can never be prepared for the challenges that babysitting - or parenting - throws at us, so just take them as they come and do your best.
Too many toys clutter rooms just like too many sensory triggers from toys cause clutter in the brain.